Social Member
Age: 61
Nationality: Anglo Irish
Should Maureen Welsh appear in an episode of “Friends” it would be called “The One with the Doormat”. She’s the woman who everyone pretends to like but nobody would ever invite to a barbecue. She’s single (natch) and whilst she has never told anyone that she has at least 10 cats living with her, it is widely assumed she does.
If you need badges sewn onto 30 junior golf shirts or someone to act as a starter on Pro-Am day at 6:00am in the pissing rain, it’s Maureen you should ask. She would do anything for anyone and the world doesn’t deserve her.
Our hero says she “struggles with her weight”. What she actually means is that she struggles to walk past Greggs, and let’s be honest, buying one doughnut is foolhardy when five are much cheaper. She’s been a member of Slimming World since 1988, her huge bulk and frankly shocking BMI would suggest that her membership hasn’t been what you might call successful for her. On the other hand it has been a Godsend for Slimming World.
Maureen has been on the club’s social committee for 20 years, she doesn’t play golf for health reasons, all 27 stones of them.
In 2012 she got stuck in a lift at a Travelodge in Sunderland for over seven hours. When her rescuers asked why she didn’t press the alarm button she replied “I didn’t want to make a fuss”.