Full Member
Age: 49
Nationality: Ginger
Possibly the most ginger man ever to have lived, worsened by the fact that his natural hairstyle would look more appropriate in the bollocks region, but even with this particular life-hurdle he is unbelievably successful with women. There’s rarely a visit to the club without a new doe-eyed bimbo in tow, and despite White’s 49 years of age, each “plat du jour” tends to be of the twenty-something age group, with a lack of any mental capacity another common and unsurprising trait.
Pubes works as a mechanic at the local Audi dealership, so it is only a mild exaggeration when he tells a potential conquest that he races cars for a living. Many a local lass thinks that she’s slept with the ginger Lewis Hamilton, later to discover that the bloke who serviced her car yesterday is the same one who serviced her lady garden last weekend.
White is an average golfer, being far more interested in the social aspect of the game than anything else. At the 2014 club championships he put a buggy in a ditch when a well-shaken can of Thatcher’s Haze exploded in his face.