Intermediate Member
Age: 21
Nationality: Land of the Stud
With a birdie surname you might think that Heron could play a bit of golf, but far from it. Out of all of the members with any degree of bladder control, he is by far the worst player. It isn’t for lack of effort or investment though, he’s spent thousands in lessons and equipment, so Club Professional Guy Botton adores him.
One of the reasons for his lacklustre performance on the course is that he’s normally spent the previous night “in flagrante” with his partner of choice, of which there have been many. In other words, far from leaving it all out on the field, he’s left it all in the bedroom with nothing left for the field.
Indeed, our Liam lists “shagging” as his main hobby on his Facebook page, and he’s not what you might call “picky”. Plenty of Fish, Match.com, Grindr and countless other dating sites have young Heron’s profile there for all to see.
And as is always the case in stories like this, our hero once left his unlocked phone on the bar for all to see, and see it they did. Many, many pictures of various young and not so young ladies, some single, some bethrothed or married to others, including a rather fruity image of sent to him by Julie Boseman accompanied by a not-so-subtle caption about “losing his balls in the rough”.
Liam Heron. Crap Golfer. Good Lad.